Back Up and Turn Around (BEDA #4)

You guys want to hear the Internet’s worst first world problem? My MacBook Pro still won’t turn on, and my iPhone is running out of battery, but I can’t find the charger, so I have to blog on my iPad.

It takes me a long time to type, okay?!

Tonight I want to discuss underwear and boobs. But, really.

I am notorious for not doing laundry. Seriously, I am the worst. So, sometimes after a month of neglecting to take care of the rapidly growing pile of clothes in the middle of my dorm room, I find myself without any underwear or bras to wear.

The underwear is easy enough to solve in the event that laundry is out of the question: just don’t wear any. The way I see it, if no one knows you’re not wearing underwear then you may as well be wearing underwear. But the bra problem is slightly harder to fix.

Don’t get me wrong, I think boobs are awesome, but sometimes I’m in situations where I just don’t need them to the extent that I have them… If you catch me.

Today, my bra supply was running dangerously low and so I was forced to wear a bra that really hasn’t fit me properly since… tenth grade? And I’m trying to smash these two big protruding domes of fat into a padded wire cup which is much too small and I’m also late for work and so I don’t have the time to make sure everything is… put together.

Long story short, I get to work and a parent of a kid on tour says to her daughter (under the assumption I cannot hear her), “When you go to college, your breasts will not be doing that.”

And okay, I get it. Boobs should not be hanging out, but it’s not like I was flashing a bunch of potential college students. And second of all, I know your daughter’s double AA breasts will not be doing this when she goes to college because quite frankly, they couldn’t. I think my boobs are awesome, and no, I don’t need to whip them out to prove that, but at the same time, whenever I’m a little less than put together it would be great if people didn’t assume I was on a seduction scheme.

I’ve got boobs. And I’m not trying to put them in your face, and I’m not going to hate you for noticing them, because that’s dumb, but don’t hate me for having things that I did nothing to acquire. They just kind of came with the package.

This is not a call for feminism, this is just a… Dude-shut-up-I-KNOW-I-need-to-do-laundry-you-don’t-have-to-be-mean-ism.

This is what BEDA is all about. Letting you guys know all of the shit you didn’t need to know.

Hours worked: 4
Live performances seen: 0

Quote of the day: “She’s a symbol of resistance and she’s holding on my heart like a hand grenade.” -Peeta talking to Caesar about Katniss (Or it’s She’s a Rebel, Greenday)